Sunday, August 31, 2003
I am thrilled! I just got tickets to see Dashboard Confessional in HOT-lanta! My girl Jade-Lo will be joining me as she has purchased a ticket. There will be much joy and merry-making! Good times! I could just about piss my pants! That is the only event that could have salvaged this otherwise shit day.It appears that some of my worst fears will be coming to fruition in the coming weeks. Send happy vibes out into the realm for me....I need all the help that I can get at this point.
April Love just very nearly sassed you at 9:29 PM;
Tuesday, August 19, 2003
I wrote this about a boy I once thought I loved. To read it, makes me feel pathetic. The tragedy is that it was not so long ago that my heart was used to the pain described herein. It's good to know that today is a new day.Have you ever wanted to kiss someone so badly that you ached for their lips to melt into yours like molten metal? For your lips and their lips to be forged together for eternity. He makes my heart ache and my soul quiver. My pain has become real. It has manifested into the physical. Like a headache or a broken bone. I wish that it had just remained an emotional yearning. It's a dull pain, like the sinuses of my heart long for relief. The damn of it all is that there is no pill to be taken, no prescription to help. Why does it never end? It's a ceaseless cycle. There is no closure within view. He is the only cure. To be with him, to have him. He is my only hope.
It's hard to believe that I could feel that way. I'm stronger than that. I realize that now.
April Love just very nearly sassed you at 1:05 AM;
Thursday, August 07, 2003
There was an incident when I last loved a dog. Apparently it has softened my feelings for the little critters. I actually carried much distaste for the canines of the planet, but cest la vie. I got a dog today. A puppy actually, and she is so damn adorable! Her name is Dizzy, in honor of one of my and ChristoCarto's favorite obsessions....Strangers with Candy. If you've never seen it...Shame on YOU!ANYWAY...I love my dog. Damn it.
April Love just very nearly sassed you at 12:46 AM;
Saturday, August 02, 2003
Don't call me/Don't write/Don't show up in the middle of the night/You know that/We needed/Some time and space to breathe in/ I still recall the words you said to me/It's what you did not say that sets me free/
Now how can I/Find peace of mind/When you keep coming back again/It's not okay/For you to play/This game of seesaw with my head/
Now it hurts too much/And it hits too hard/And I won't play this part/
So now I say the things I want to say/Sometimes it's better letting go this way/I'll always know/Down in my soul/We really had to far to go/I've given all I have to give/And now it's time for me to live/
And I won't look back/And I won't regret/Though it hurts like hell/Someday I will forget.
Letting Go, Sozzi
Maybe that was a little sad bastard, but there was a time when I could really relate to those words. I've come a long way, but today I just needed to hear it again.
April Love just very nearly sassed you at 5:50 AM;
There was a disturbing dream and much contemplation on the meaning. I dreamed someone from my past was in the here and now. It would have been a ridiculous notion had it crossed my mind in the waking hours. He came to me spewing forth the bullshit that he is famous for....you know the type, he always knew what I wanted to hear and filled me full of it. There was a time when I thought it was true and that I would never hear such sweet words again. It was one of those dreams that confuses space and time. I knew where I was in the dream, but it didn't look like that place, and I knew who I was talking to, but he looked like someone else. He sounded like the asshole I once knew and loved, but he appeared as my dearest friend that I now know and love who would never disrespect me the way he had in the past. It's the damnedest thing. I may never understand my subconcious and why it seemed to want to fuck with me that night.
April Love just very nearly sassed you at 5:38 AM;
